How did I get here?

I'm a 32 year old woman and have completely lost myself in being a wife, mom and nurse.

Almost 10 years ago I married someone completely opposite of me and found myself changing and adapting to him. I changed religions to match his while we were dating. While I still agree with that decision, for the most part, it caused a lot of stress and challenges in my life. Making that big change was the first time I ever felt like my mothers love was conditional. However, I stood firm in my decision for many years. Then about 5 years ago I gave up on religion and doubted everything.

I also come from a family with an obesity problem. I have told myself over and over that I will never let that happen to me. I'm seen the struggles it has caused my parents and I swore I would never let myself lose control of my weight. What a joke that was! After struggling with infertility for years and subjecting my body to all kinds of different hormonal meds, not to mention the emotional eating habits I'd developed as a teen I have found myself in the same boat as my parents...obese.

Another issue my parents showed me and taught me about was finances. I remember many talks with my dad telling me all about the financial mistakes they made and begging me to learn from them so I wouldn't make those same mistakes and end up with crushing debt too. However, as you can already get a sense of the direction this is going, I didn't head that advise. I woke up one day and realized I had a shocking amount of debt. I had ignored budgeting for too long and spent too much money on my child and decorating my house. I love to decorate and shop...both of which are not ideal hobbies to have when it comes to a budget.

So here I am. I'm 32 with no sense of who I really am, obese and no idea how to overcome it, and really broke. All of that can easily be boiled down to...I'm miserable.